I like that this program isn’t just about coding or even engineering. Saturdays are our reflective days. We're encouraged to journal and post a reflection. It’s a way of digesting, it’s a snapshot to revisit later. Writing is great.
Except I don’t really want to be writing right now. Maybe I can write about that?
It feels like I’m forcing a premature reflection. Like I’m shaking a tree when I can clearly see that whatever is growing up there isn’t ripe yet. This ripening, this process of maturing ideas and thoughts, is a bit unpredictable in its shape and timing. It brings up a sense of wonder. How does it work? It's mysterious. I like that, I want to respect that.
The Contrarian comes up: ‘how about conquering mystery?’.
I see you, thanks, not right now.
Right now, I can just honor that my capacity for reflection is limited. I prefer to orient towards the path of least resistance, which is, doing.
This past week has been marked by a lot of doing. And doing it pretttttyyy fast.
I felt some resistance about entering a program that champions productivity and speed. I don’t feel like the reflection on that level is ripe yet. So I’ll just say that after spending the past few years developing contemplative skills, which often involved slowing down and doing less, it’s quite a culture shock.
But as much as I’m externally jumbled by the NYC / Tech / Startup ethos: one that praises doing a lot and doing it fast, I’m internally not that disturbed. I’m actually really enjoying it. I like getting things done, particularly when it makes sense to get them done. I came here to learn, challenge myself and build exciting things. I’m here for it.
I’m noticing some reflective threads. I feel like it would be premature to dive into any of them right now, but I'll name them.
- My relationship with work is being redefined, transformed.
- My value system is getting shaken up. Certainties and postures loosen up.
- One subthread is about the tension between slowness and speed.
- How malleable opinions and values are.
- How pleasant it is to be in a container with instructors that care, a physical space, a cohort.
I think of the word décanter in french.
It's essentially waiting for things to settle. There is a natural purification process that tends to happen that way. What’s truly valuable rises to the surface, the rest just kind of floats around or sinks to the bottom.